The Return of Sulonam

Most of you will feel quite confused by the title of this post, as you've been able to see me left and right doing things and projects, but the reality is that I've been going through several personal situations behind the scenes, which I'd like to finally share with you.

For many years, specifically since 2017, I've been experiencing various traumas, insecurities, fears and negativities, which have severely affected me. From self-doubt (Treating myself like an irredeemable monster who hurts the people I love) to suicide attempts in 2021, it's been very difficult for me to maintain my life without having to feel the weight of all these things that have affected me both physically and psychologically.

The breakup with my partner was the final straw, causing a whole series of emotions and thoughts to flash through my eyes, like pain, anger, sadness, melancholy, fear, betrayal and denial. I felt deeply hurt and incredibly confused; May 2025 was just too much.

But little by little, I began to regain my energy so I could move forward, and this time with a completely new focus on myself. For years, I'd let myself get hurt, I'd let myself get carried away, and I'd placed myself in a position of inadequacy, disappointment and distrust as a result of my history of trauma and mistakes, and this situation made me open my eyes to my terrible emotional state.

This breakup, despite the incredible pain it left me, helped me get my life back on track and focus more on feeling better, starting with finally accepting who I am, my mistakes and my past. Acceptance helped me feel at peace with all the pain I'd had on my back for almost a decade, and I no longer feel guilty about everything that happened, because those situations don't represent my true self. Despite the mistakes I made, I've been able to forgive myself and move on. At the same time, I came to understand that pain and suffering helped me become the man I am today, and the experiences have helped me understand how I can support, help, understand and show my concern, affection and love to the people around me without fear, like a true older brother.

My improved focus on myself has led me to start my exercise routine, eat properly, adjust my sleep schedule as much as possible, go for walks or get out of my comfort zone more often, focus as much as I can on completing the projects I'm passionate about, and, most importantly, enjoy with my comedy and personality with all the people I love.

Some other things I've done to start off on a fresher note have been deleting my Discord account (Which I revamped from scratch and gave me a much-needed 2-week break), focusing on managing and planning future projects, retiring from Co-Directing Restoration Of Sonic.exe (Although I ended up coming back, as I felt much better inside the project) and, recently, meditating before sleep.

My motivation is quite high, and I'm so grateful to all my friends for their enormous support throughout this emotionally charged process. You're my greatest support, and I couldn't have gotten this far without you. I love you with all my heart, and I hope you can overcome every obstacle and challenge life throws your way. But remember, you're never alone, you have me, this eccentric crazy guy, and I'm always available for anything, if you need help or someone to talk to about your emotions.

It's time to start as a new and improved Sulonam, one who finally loves himself just the way he is, one who knows his worth and is worthy of enjoying life, who isn't insecure about having a good time with everyone, and who, despite everything, keeps striving for a better future filled with randomness and disarray.

Sincerely, Sulonam